Human problems with pain management

I [Paul]I wrote you out of great distress and anguish of heart and with many tears., not to grieve you, but to let you know the depths of my love for you. 2 Cor. 2:4

Maybe our learned social or cultural responses to public pain explain why so many people resort to sessions of mind-numbing avoidance or solitary confinement rather than share the pain with anyone. We translate hurt into humor, anger and stoicism for public consumption because those can make us feel stronger and more powerful than authentically expressing hurt. For many of us it takes a huge level of vulnerability and trust to share our tears. Most of us would like to avoid the obligatory kindness that comes  from pity or the resentment that comes when people interpret tears as manipulation. Some of us have been taught that tears betray weakness, so we shed our tears in isolation, if at all. On the other hand, some of us overshare our pain, perhaps for validation, or because pain has become part of how we identify ourselves. Our social and cultural defaults can cause us to respond inappropriately to the pain of others, consciously or unconsciously dismissing pain, feeding it, or becoming co-dependent in it. Yet, in addition to His own personal loving responses to our pain, God uses healthy relationships between human beings, in addition to His own personal loving responses to our pain, to help us gain and keep a loving, gracious perspective, experience healing, and grow from the experience.

Lord, help me create a safe and honest place in my relationships where others can trust me with their pain; and take away the shame I associate with my own pain.